So seriously these two are the best of friends already he is the only one of the kids that can rock her to sleep. She will be crying and he will be the first to bring a smile to her face! After we had Razden I felt like we were done having kids. We had always said 6 was a good number for us. around the time he turned 3 I started feeling like we should have another baby. I didn't say anything to anyone even Chris. He had been saying for a few months that we should have another baby but I still didn't say anything to him. Finally I started praying about if  we were supposed to have more children. One night we went to the temple and I had been really pondering this question. Sitting there waiting for Chris I had a really strong feeling that yes we should have another baby. When we got in the car and I told Chris he was really surprised but really excited! We never said anything to the kids but a few weeks later Razden started talking about his little sister and asking when she was going to come. I would smile and tell him he was our baby and there probably weren't going to be any more babies in our family. I didn't want him to get his hopes up if it ended up not happening! Over the next few months he continued to talk about his sister and how good of a big brother he was going to be. We found out we were expecting but still said nothing to the kids we wanted to make sure everything was going to work out first. One morning when I was getting Raz out of the shower he reached up and rubbed my belly and said,I know you have a baby in there.  When I was about 7 weeks pregnant I started having really bad back pain and new it felt alot like back labor. I knew something was wrong and made an appointment with the doctor . The doctor did an ultrasound and found the heartbeat it was nice and strong but the doctor said the fetus was a little smaller than it should be. He told me to come back in two weeks unless I needed to before then. I continued to have back pain for 2 weeks Chris was out of town and I went back to the doctor at 9 weeks pregnant. This time there was no heartbeat,I had miscarried again. The doctors scheduled a D&C for a couple days later and Chris was still out of town so my mother in law took me to the hospital. When I got home I was so confused I wondered why I had felt so strongly to have another baby and then have to go through this again! I had a really warm feeling come across me and felt that it was just not the right time.  A few months later Chris got a new job that had insurance which we have never had before and we were excited about! A few months after that we felt like we should try again for a baby. Razden was still talking about his sister and every time he did it just broke my heart for him. it took longer than we wanted but soon we were expecting again. The doctors had done some bloodwork and figured out that the other pregnancy was lost do to clotting issues. They told me as soon as we knew we were pregnant to let them know and they started me on blood thinner. I almost passed out when the pharmacist was showing me how to give the shot to myself. I went home and gave myself a pep talk and never looked back every day for 9 months I gave myself a shot in the stomach.when it was time to find out the sex of the baby we took Razden with us and when the ultrasound tech asked him if he wanted a sister or a brother he said you don't have to look I already know it's a girl. Sure enough he was getting his little sister. We had a few scares and were sent to a few specialists along the way. Doctor bills started piling up and with the cost of the shots I had a pretty good idea of why before was not the right time. We now had insurance which drastically helped us not totally drown in medical bills. Tesslei finally made it here safe and sound and very healthy. she is definately worth all the struggles and issues we had to deal with and go through. Razden got his little sister and they have a very special relationship!